Friday, March 23, 2012

Alone Versus Lonely

I've been thinking about loneliness and solitude.


When I was younger, raising my Family, teaching and working outside the home, I rarely experienced solitude. However, in the midst of busy interaction, I was sometimes lonely. Now retired, I am often alone but rarely lonely.


 As I hiked by myself yesterday, I pondered the healing aspect of solitude. Sometimes I crave a quietness of spirit that can only be achieved by being fully present and alone with myself. I feel that if I can't be good company for myself, why should others want to spend time with me? 


I use solitude to rejuvenate, so I can give myself to others without reservation. Loneliness is often indicative of sadness. However, for me, solitude (the time spent alone) is uplifting.

Do you welcome solitude or crave constant company?
When you're alone do you immediately feel lonely?
Sometimes, I like to ask myself these questions.
We are all different - no answer is right or wrong.

32 comments:

  1. I consider my self gregarious, but I cherish my alone time.

    I, too, raised a family and taught, in fact was the department head in a large high school. My days were filled with noise and company. Solitude is a welcome commodity.

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  2. Very interesting article. I feel you have comfort with solitude. Maybe it is hard sometimes. Hope the internet and blogging helps in those moments. Respect.

    Greetings,
    Filip

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  3. i crave solitude. and quiet. and nature.

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  4. Yes, that is how it is for me! The day is so short, and there is so many things to do. I wonder if it has anything to do with the satisfaction we get out of what we do?


    Right now though, I am busy coveting those pots!!

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  5. I am seldom lonely Barb, but at times wished I could spend more time with family. Living alone and not getting lonely very often well, I guess I'm blessed for having that. After crazy busy days working with sometimes 20 different personalities, my clients, and coworkers too, I appreciate solitude also. Carol

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  6. I'm often alone due to my husband's work -- but I don't usually feel lonely. Having 2 dogs and 2 cats in the house helps. :)

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  7. I crave solitude, and when alone, I enjoy it, and rarely get bored or lonely. Somewhere I heard or read you can roughly divide people into the introvert/extrovert personalities, and that introverts tend to re-charge themselves by alone, quiet time. Extroverts tend to crave company and recharge their energy level by being around people. Also interesting is that the stereotype of introverts being shy is not at all true!

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  8. Long ago I learned to enjoy my own company. Now I absorb solitude. Sometimes to the point friends grow concerned. It's good. Never lonely, often alone.

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  9. As so many have said in response to your beautiful thoughts, I have found "loneliness" to not be an issue. It seems to have been a youthful state for me, but aging has brought such peace in the realm of solitude.

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  10. Solitude is important for recharging, for finding balance. Loneliness has been part of my life as a single parent raising two children, but it also helped me grow.

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  11. I love your images of the blue pots and your questions! I can't remember the last time feelings of loneliness or boredom came up here. It does seem good to have some quiet time alone each day to contemplate and ask questions.

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  12. I agree with you about solitude - so very necessary to re-energize!

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  13. I love solitude and enjoy a solitary hike or working alone in the garden.

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  14. I'm quite happy to be alone. Lonely? What's that? :))

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  15. I'm not sure I've ever felt lonely in recent years. I love my time alone. It is so healing. I think I could be alone if something happened to my husband, quite happily, but I wonder if that would be the case. Hopefully won't have to find out... Thank you for asking us.

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  16. Hi,Barb.
    Your photo are so beautiful. I love them very much!

    I am still tied up with my family, taking care of my mother in law and grandchildren.I'm trying to make time for myself. I love my family and friends and spend a great time with them. They always share my happiness and sadness as well.
    However I do love solitude and loneliness as much as togetherness.
    They allow me to really enjoy my freedom in the solitude, an inspiring time!

    Let’s have a great week,Barb.
    Tomoko

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  17. Thank you for so eloquently looking at solitude as being healing, not lonely. I don't think I ever feel lonely when I'm alone, but there are times in a crowd when I feel lonely, if that makes any sense.

    I used to crave time alone when the kids were young, and developed a habit of early rising, just to assure myself some space. I still see that first hour or two of the day as "mine" long after there is no one here to interrupt it.

    I think you said something about there being freedom in solitude, and I feel that. I enjoy that freedom to be alone, and content.

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  18. Solitude was a place of safety for me as a child. I felt more lonely in a group of people. Thankfully, solitude has evolved to be simply a good place to recharge; a blessing that allows me to embrace the human companionship. Thanks for the thought provoking questions. And the providing the blue vases that waited for our answers. xo teri

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  19. Thought provoking. I work toward a balance...sometimes hard to achieve the way we live. But I need alone times.

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  20. lovely blue vases!

    I rarely feel lonely and usually it is when i am alone in a crowd of people. I think you are right that at those times i am sad. Sad not to be part of the fun i see others having together.

    I am alone more than not and i rarely experiencing feeling lonely by myself.

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  21. I love Solitude and Crave company! It just depends on the day, hour or minute.
    Sometimes I feel lonely but it is usually for someone in particular. My husband, children or my late mother.
    I do have to admit that most of the time, I enjoy my own company! I don't know if that's good or bad?!!
    Love Di ♥

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  22. I enjoy company and solitude in fairly equal parts but I don't think I need the solitude as much as I need company. Lovely photos, Barb. The colours and textures are wonderful.

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  23. There is a lot of 'togetherness' in a long married life, and I cherish this, and am thankful. But solitude also has a welcome place in my life!

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  24. Such excellent questions. I cannot recall a time when I was lonely. Even when I lived alone for many years. I've always enjoyed my own company, but I also enjoy the company of good friends. I need solitude, and re-charge by spending time in nature - one of my favorite things to do is hike. I'm loving the blue vases - the light and intensity of color. Perfect. Happy week to you Barb. take good care now.

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  25. What a fine post, Barb. I like how you point to the difference between "loneliness" and "solitude."

    Personally, I have always thought of solitude as restorative and cleansing. For me, it is not nearly the same thing as being lonely, because solitude is something I choose...and something that, while I am experiencing it, I often use to reflect on how blessed I am to have the human relationships in my life.

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  26. I need solitude; and it's not because I still have children at home. Even when I was single, I needed it; however, I remember experiencing lonely days on occasion - especially during the weekends when my friends were busy with their families. I was living in a state where I had only one relative.

    But now, no lonliness. I'm blessed with many friends and can pick up the phone at any time if I feel a need to talk while my family is away at school and work. I hardly do that though. Reading, blogging, running, walking the dog, and the dreaded house work and bill paying take up the first half of my days.

    I notice that most of your readers feel similar to you. I wonder if it's because we're all writers and photographers, accustomed to searching within ourselves to produce the written word or something artistic.

    I wrote a post on solitude called Thirty Minutes of Solitude - Lost! :) When I saw your title, I said, "Lonely - not me!"

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  27. First off, the blue in your photos is so peaceful to me. I think blue is solitude. My favorite color. Company? I love it, craved it when I was raising my family but now, I find company to be sometimes stressful and "busy". I never feel lonely or alone, some Saturday's are spent in my pj's watching old movies or history channel. Somedays are like that and I need to recharge....I am around people all day long so solitude is very precious to me.

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  28. what a great article and you are so right, there is no one right answer; one may need solitude at a certain moment and after a while needs company....I agree with you that solitude does well and help us re-charge;
    happy weekend and warm greetings!

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  29. This is a wonderful post, lots to think upon. I like to spend time alone, time with nature. I am very happy with MY time. I dont feel lonely!
    Have a fabulous Sunday Barb:)

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  30. I welcome solitude, quite a rare event in my life.

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  31. I do love my solitude but truly enjoy people too. I'm always happy to get back to the Ponderosa and do my thing'. I rarely get lonely alone. I enjoy workin' 'round the place when I'm alone.

    Beautiful images sweetie.

    God bless ya and have yourself an excellent day!!! :o)

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  32. Love those blue pots! It's been many years since I've felt loneliness. I'm blessed with family and friends and a sweet husband and dogs and projects. As for solitude, I cherish it. I think I need to find more of it as I'm less gregarious than my husband. Sometimes it's so sweet to go for a walk alone with my camera or have the house to myself for a whole day. Interesting questions, Barb.

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Your comments are always one good thing for me!